Hot Feet!

Stand up time!

(Clears throat/fixes tie)
Rick: You know it is pretty hot out there today don’t yah think?…In fact, it is sooo hot!
(Puts mic out towards crowd)
Crowd: How hot is it!(Crowd speaks in unison/trance)
Rick: Well! Let me tell yah! It is sooo hot that when I stepped on the cement barefooted the neighbors asked if I was cooking ham because it smelt so good!
(Drums play and crowd laughs)

Ok well back from daydreaming, where I can’t actually get away with a joke like that, I actually burnt my feet today! I did it for the fans though and THAT is how far I would go for the fans! Yes, like I said, I did it for the fans which actually is just one fan and his name is Chex. Chex is actually not a fan or person for that matter. He is just a dumb ol’ dog that loves to play ball. He loves it so much that he sacrificed his life for it! You see that! His LIFE! So I can’t just be like:

Rick: Dude I quit
Chex: Wtf why do you quit! We were having fun.
(Chex starts to moan/cry)
Rick: Dude my feet hurt out here.
(Chex gets angry/violent)
Chex: Muthf***er, I sacrifice my life for this sh**! Now pick up the f***ing ball and lets play, bi***!

By the way, Chex is a small pug TOTALLY harmless! Which is why I decided to keep playing. He said it was best for both of us. Well actually,so you can get the big picture, what happened was that we were playing by the pool and Chex got too into the game and accidentally fell in the pool. Poor little pug. He hates the pool and is too small to get out so I hauled him out of there. Anyway that’s not important back to my story. The cement was so hot out today though that I actually burnt my feet and they hurt now. This sucks! I feel like Michael Scott in NBC’s The Office when he burnt his foot on the George Foreman Grill. Oh well, I guess there is nothing I can do now except learn my lesson and continue to save little dogs, cats, and babies like I do daily. Oh and ladies, I AM single.